I’m in. Again. 9th Season… hook up the Chardonnay IV, and bring small snacky foods, I’m ready. 

Most of the reason to watch the show is for Tim Gunn's mentoring. This is the face he makes right before he offers a soul-crushing, but ultimately loving critique.

Over the last couple days, Lifetime has been running endless marathons of previous seasons, including the utterly forgettable Season Six, the first season on Lifetime, when they were in Los Angeles. I re-watched a handful of that season and was reminded of the season’s winner (Irina, the girl who would be awesome if she wasn’t such a C-U-Next-Tuesday…) and Gordana Gehlhausen, the Bosnian Badass who was (in my little opinion) the real innovator in that season. In addition to that woeful season, Lifetime ran the entirety of the much-better Season 7, wherein Vancouver, WA’s own humpy punk-daddy Seth Aaron Henderson took home the top prize.

In my review of these previous seasons, I’ve made a few observations that I will endeavor to disprove in this season:

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• As soon as anyone uses the phrase “Old Hollywood Glamour” or references how much they’re into retro clothes, they’re doomed.
• If they get a phone call home during the show, they’ve either won, or they’re going  home.
• Tim Gunn is dying to change up his patter – you can tell this most obviously in his selection of an adverb when explaining to the designers how they should use the Bluefly.com Accessory Wall. “Thoughtfully” is the most used, occasionally “carefully” and once “judiciously” that I can recall.
• Any sort of team challenge is when the gloves really come off, and the wheat is truly separated from the chaff.
• If a contestant admits to being either self-taught, or otherwise lacking in some technique or bit of knowledge, they’re either going to win the day, or be “auf’d”.

For those of you who are new to Project Runway, you can use this little bingo card we’ve created to as a way to introduce yourself to the four major players: Heidi Klum, Project Runway’s teutonic hostess and judge, Tim Gunn, the contestant mentor and mensch, Michael Kors, fashion designer and self-appointed King of Bronzer, Nina Garcia, Big Baller at Marie Claire, and there is always some sort of special guest/celebrity who is there to offer their opinion – sometimes valuable, sometimes not at all.

PROJECT RUNWAY, Season 9, premieres tonight at 10:00pm!